I think of small talk as a way to find common ground, a gentle way to figure out how to go deeper with a person. And everything a person says reveals something about who they are. It can also be quite entertaining. Once I asked a person I'd just met what was the first thing he did when he got home each day. He thought a minute and told me about the elaborate dance he did each day to reach his mailbox due to puddles that kept forming near it, a dance he recreated for me in the moment. This broke the ice and we had a great time talking about life. Just being in the moment with another human with no agenda can be quite powerful and enriching.
"One night we were at a big dinner - a banquet. All the brass were there, and the war was still on. I was the only civilian, and there were the admirals and everybody else, and Mr. Roosevelt was going to be wheeled in in a moment, and we were waiting, and the door opened, and a GI looked in.
Just by accident, he opened the door, and he saw George Marshall, who was the highest-ranking officer in the world.
He said, "You're General Marshall." Now, Marshall didn't know anybody was watching this. I was, I just happened to be watching.
He said, "Yeah, come inside." And he went off in the corner with the boy, who was an ordinary GI, and sat talking with him for 15 minutes and sent the boy home.
Now, there are not many generals of the army who could do that with simplicity and without the slightest hint of demagoguery or playing.
He didn't think one of us was admiring him for being a human being, and he was such a human being that that little boy from the prairies of Kansas or wherever instantly saw that he could talk to him without embarrassment."
Sometimes it's not what we say but how we present ourselves. I was lucky enough to meet you twice. On one occasion, the elevator door opened at my floor in a hotel at which you were presenting. You were the only person in the elevator. We talked until the elevator reached to lobby floor as if we'd known each other all our lives. Just like General Marshall and that GI.
David, I have been a fan since I met you at Baystate Health in Springfield, MA, many years ago. We hired you several times. When it comes to small talk, I invite you to check out my stuff: stopwastingwords.com. I wish you continued joy and success. Sean E. Mahar
I think of small talk as a way to find common ground, a gentle way to figure out how to go deeper with a person. And everything a person says reveals something about who they are. It can also be quite entertaining. Once I asked a person I'd just met what was the first thing he did when he got home each day. He thought a minute and told me about the elaborate dance he did each day to reach his mailbox due to puddles that kept forming near it, a dance he recreated for me in the moment. This broke the ice and we had a great time talking about life. Just being in the moment with another human with no agenda can be quite powerful and enriching.
Well said.
I very much relate!
"What do I/we get out of that"...
I read Eckhart Tolle yesterday and he mentioned that for ego the now is only a means to an end.
In web development there is the discernment between Design and Content.
In small-talk there is maybe Presence and Content?
You're right. However, Presence can lead to cool content; and Content can often generate Presence. Tight relationship.
Presence = Source, Stillness, Awareness, Ground of being.
Orson Welles tells this story:
"One night we were at a big dinner - a banquet. All the brass were there, and the war was still on. I was the only civilian, and there were the admirals and everybody else, and Mr. Roosevelt was going to be wheeled in in a moment, and we were waiting, and the door opened, and a GI looked in.
Just by accident, he opened the door, and he saw George Marshall, who was the highest-ranking officer in the world.
He said, "You're General Marshall." Now, Marshall didn't know anybody was watching this. I was, I just happened to be watching.
He said, "Yeah, come inside." And he went off in the corner with the boy, who was an ordinary GI, and sat talking with him for 15 minutes and sent the boy home.
Now, there are not many generals of the army who could do that with simplicity and without the slightest hint of demagoguery or playing.
He didn't think one of us was admiring him for being a human being, and he was such a human being that that little boy from the prairies of Kansas or wherever instantly saw that he could talk to him without embarrassment."
Sometimes it's not what we say but how we present ourselves. I was lucky enough to meet you twice. On one occasion, the elevator door opened at my floor in a hotel at which you were presenting. You were the only person in the elevator. We talked until the elevator reached to lobby floor as if we'd known each other all our lives. Just like General Marshall and that GI.
Wow, what a rich recount. And, I'm glad I played some minor part in your story. Thanks.
Nice quote (& content)❗️
David, I have been a fan since I met you at Baystate Health in Springfield, MA, many years ago. We hired you several times. When it comes to small talk, I invite you to check out my stuff: stopwastingwords.com. I wish you continued joy and success. Sean E. Mahar